Conforming is a heavy issue for all, I believe it affects us in different ways and I believe it sits unconsciously at the root of every decision we made or make. Some of us make life choice based on fitting in and sitting amongst the norm while others stray purposely far from it like a disease.
My whole life I’ve wondered where I fit in and where I don’t and thought about the physical actions I can take to move from one group to the next. Like most people there is a limit to how far or drastic I will change my physical appearance to conform. And for now cosmetic surgery isn’t for me (no judgment to people who do), I have in the past used my versatility to manipulate my hair texture or colour and style of clothes or makeup to conform to a trend or movement. But this topic has bred a series of intriguing questions like “Am I boring” and “does conforming make me a clone and if so how do I be original” all these questions surfacing one after the other till I reached the ultimate life question “who the fuck am I ?”
As a black female my first question is how this affects my race. A silent law taught to all people of non western culture (regardless if you’re born in a western world)
Code of conduct; I am a representation of all black women and must act appropriately in the presence of other races to advert from the stereotype of being seen as aggressive, difficult ect. But does these cultural laws of conformity conflict with my human right to react they way I see fit?. Instantly my freedom of expression is limited, this prison of expression could lead to the extinction of originality, resolutions not explored and revelations never found resulting in a dim version of one self. This conversation can go so deep that this section may have to be explored deeper in another post.
The second logical question is how does this effect me as a woman? We all know what is expected from us as women (the silent rule of norm)
Code of conduct; I am expected to have children, not drink too much, achieve to marriage have a good home a good job earning a certain amount and put myself in last priority to make sure my household is in order, And as we age more rules pile up and govern our self-worth and self assessment.
We mustn’t be promiscuous or out of control, we shouldn’t wear short hemlines or high heels as we age. The older we get the more brands forget about us as we seem to be less attractive or desirable and the list goes on. Women’s lives have been dictated to us by each age group or milestone by other women who follow the rules and society with no vision of new. Could this prison of follow the leader or generation before be a restriction of self development and evolution? Has this caused a surge of dim lost souls who seek wisdom when it concerns self love? Could this be the reason why spiritual books sell so well?
There are so many layers of conforming that I haven’t addressed but you get the point. The answer to the origin of this post is;
Yes I am boring!! Because I conform, everything I am doing has been done before I don’t offer the world anything new, exciting or inspiring. Can I be original? As simple as that sounds what does that actually mean? I live in a world that practise repetition, We repeat the same holidays, traditions and celebrations nothing is new or original, fashion trends get repeated, radio stations repeat the same song over and over a again in a day and we live the same Monday to Friday quotes.
Who am I? My name is Lessette and I was born an authentic new person, new to this earth as Lessette and new to the experience of life.
I should be any one I want to be, I should feel free enough to experience a new road not calved out for me by law and society. I shouldn’t be given battles to fight because of my race or gender I should make unique ones specific to me, I’ve been taught how to repeat not innovate, I’ve been taught how to research and not create.
PHOTOGRAPHY AND VIDEOGRAPHY BY MS SHEI
Thank you for reading